Its going to be a world of hurt I know that, either way, surgery or not, its not hurt as much as getting to ni on 38 and coming to the conclusion that blowing my brains out isn’t the answer, that hurt, hurt a lot,I have to see that its a wonderful world, I need to take to time out to love it, I have hated for so long, been so angry, I’m fixable, i know that, I’m not beyond repair, its not too late to throw myself into life, got learn its great to be alive, I need to not think too much, i always thought too much, got to think of a time when life was less rotten, focus on that, when life was innocent, back before things started going wrong,

I guess my problem is i don't like me, music was always my thing, always loved music, Neil Young’s my thing, the mans a legend, the 70s are my thing, i love the 70s it was a decade a world apart, a world before my world caved in,

It took me all my courage to tell you, some of the things i have so I need to go on i have had to make a deal, make a deal with my devil, with my demons, talk or drawn, I think the devil thought he had me, I never talked for years, I’m winning, I can see that now, I’m not up for sale, no ones getting my ashes but me, I’ve kept it all in side, I’m tired, need to get back on my feet again, so insecure, need to realise that i can get high on life not just high,